Since it is a cold, rainy Thursday I thought I would take some time to update some old fairy tales. Considering tomorrow is sequestration doomsday, I chose the tale of “Chicken Little.” Let’s call this the OBAMA version.
One day, Obama chicken was walking through the woods thinking of better ways to take the feed of the hardworking horses and cows and give it to the lazy pigs. ( Sorry for you pig lovers out there.) If only he could convince the mean farmer that the pigs deserved the extra food, even if they didn’t work. Then, one day when the horses and cows were too weak to work and the pigs were even fatter, he could be king of all. As he walked he thought to himself, ” I must create a crisis. But, how can I do that?” He looked up at the sky and put his wing to his beak. “Hmmmmm….” Then, all of a sudden, he spotted the acorns on the trees and thought, ” I know how to make this happen.” Cleverly, he grabbed the limb of the tree and shook it. Acorns fell and hit him on his head. “Perfect,” he thought. He began to run and run and run until he ran into Cocky Pelosi and Cocky Reid. “Cocky Pelosi, Cocky Reid, the sky is falling!” he screamed.
“Oh, Obama chicken, this is great! Never let a good crisis go to waste,” screamed Cocky Pelosi. “Yeah, even if you created the crisis, ” agreed Cocky Reid. So, they joined him as he ran through the woods screaming, “The sky is falling! If it continues, the pigs won’t be able to eat, baby pigs will die, and there will be no mud for the pigs.”
Suddenly, they ran into the horses and the cows. ” Horses and cows, the sky is falling and it’s all your fault! If you had given the pigs more of your feed, this wouldn’t happen. You need to give more of your feed to the pigs so we can build a shelter over them for when the sky is falling.”
“Wait a minute, ” said the horses and cows, ” We’re tired of giving up our feed for the lazy pigs. Why should they have a shelter when we know the things falling from the sky are acorns that you have shaken from the trees?”
Obama chicken was stunned. How dare they go against him? Didn’t they know that he was the best, smartest chicken of all? What were they, specie- ists?
“That’s okay, ” he said to Cocky Pelosi and Cocky Reid ” We’ll travel the barnyard and talk to all the pigs and other useless, non-working animals. We’ll even talk to the retired horses and cows and tell them the current horses and cows want them to die. Why, we’ll even get the reporter rats on our side. By the time we are done with horses and cows, no one will want them around. We’ll tell them if we don’t get the shelter built by March 1, the barnyard will ceast to exist. ”
And so they did. The Reporter rats were thrilled to have something to do to help Obama chicken and his friends. They felt important for once.
And so, the days passed and March 1 came closer. And, Obama chicken was proud of the job he had done creating the crisis. The horses and cows stood their ground, even though the reporter rats demonized them.
How will this fairy tale end? No one knows for right now. Stay tuned.